Psychological state of self-abuse after quarreling with girlfriend

★ Posted on 12-11,2024

Arguing is an inevitable problem that couples will encounter, but some people will fall into a self-abusive psychological state after quarreling with their girlfriends. This psychological state often brings great pain and distress to people. This psychological state will be discussed from several aspects below.

1. Self-blame and guilt

After a quarrel, many people will fall into the emotions of self-blame and guilt. middle. They will think that they are the initiator of the quarrel and that they did not handle the problem well, which led to the quarrel. This self-blame and guilt often make them feel depressed and helpless.

For example, Xiao Ming and his girlfriend had a quarrel over a small matter. Xiao Ming felt that he did not solve the problem in time, which led to the escalation of the quarrel. He began to blame himself, feeling that he was not mature enough or considerate enough. This self-blame and guilt plunged him into deep sadness.

2. Self-punishment

After a quarrel, some people will choose to relieve their inner pain through self-punishment. They may intentionally allow themselves to be hurt as a way to punish themselves. This behavior is often motivated by dissatisfaction with oneself and regret about the quarrel.

For example, after Xiaohong had a heated argument with her boyfriend, she felt that she had not controlled her emotions and had hurt her boyfriend. In order to punish herself, she chose to slit her wrists. This self-punishment only worsens her pain and does not solve the problem.

3. Seek comfort

Some people will seek comfort from others after a quarrel, hoping to receive support and understanding. They need affirmation and encouragement from others to relieve their inner burden.

For example, Xiao Li had a quarrel with his girlfriend over trivial family matters, and he felt very depressed and lonely. He found a good friend to talk to about his troubles and hoped that the friend could give him some comfort and advice. Through talking and receiving support, he gradually came out of his self-abusive psychological state.

4. Seek professional help

For some people, the psychological condition of self-abuse may be so severe that it cannot be alleviated by self-regulation and comfort from others. At this time, seeking professional help is a wise choice.

For example, after Xiao Wang had a violent quarrel with his girlfriend, he fell into deep despair. He realized he couldn't escape this state of mind and decided to seek advice from a counselor. After professional help, he gradually returned to his normal state of mind.

5. Learn to communicate and handle emotions

In order to avoid falling into a self-abuse mentality after a quarrel, we need to learn to communicate and handle emotions better. Only through effective communication can problems be solved rather than escalated.

For example, Xiao Zhang reflected on his behavior after an argument with his girlfriend and took the initiative to apologize to his girlfriend. They jointly discussed ways to solve the problem and agreed to communicate in a timely manner when encountering problems in the future. In this way, they can betterProcess your emotions to avoid falling into self-inflicted psychological situations.

Falling into a self-inflicted psychological state after an argument with your girlfriend is a common but unhealthy emotional reaction. We need to learn to handle arguments correctly and seek appropriate help and support. Only in this way can we better maintain mental health.

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