Question:
I have been with my partner for more than a year. When we were together, we were both very passionate. Then we got together very quickly, and no one else I never thought about what would happen next.
But after we were together for a long time, I started to become greedy. Because I really liked her, I wanted to stay with her until the end.
Because I really think we are a good match, I want to talk to her about the future, but whenever I talk about this topic with her, her attitude is very unclear, saying that we are still young for the time being. Not considered.
We talked about this topic again when we were watching TV two days ago, and she said, "You have been asking me this recently. The question is, is she going to be forced into marriage? I haven’t considered this aspect yet.”
I never thought she saw me this way. Is she really not the right person for me? I'm a little less confident. Can you help me judge?
Answer:
Hello, my friend, I can see that you are someone who desperately hopes that your relationship will go smoothly. Boys, so today I will give you some inspiration from a psychological perspective to see if it can be of some help to you.
In fact, if we look at falling in love separately, some people pay more attention to the process, so even if they know that being with a person may have no results, they will still stay together;
< p>Some people are more willing to use the results to measure whether everything is worth it. If there are really no results, it is better not to start.Of course, both concepts are understandable. We won’t say which one is better.
But it must be admitted that there are indeed many boys who, once they are not confident in their current relationship, will consider whether to give up in time.
If you don’t have much confidence now, I will give you a few judgment criteria. You can check your relationship. If it is roughly consistent, there is really no need to look forward and backward. You are suitable.
First of all, the conditions match.
Of course, the good match I am talking about is not the traditional concept of "well-matched".
But if you want to get married, you need to know that the higher the match between two people’s tutoring background, social level, education level, and appearance, the smaller the negative impact on the marriage relationship.
If two people are “not a good match”, what conflicts may arise?
Conflicts in values, two people’s life plans that are not aligned, and differences in consumption views Wait a minute, if these problems are not handled well, it will be difficult for two people to get to the end, and it will be easier for others to intervene.
Especially the conditions between the two of youThe better one can easily become dissatisfied with the current relationship once he meets other attractive potential partners.
Secondly, do you have similar living habits?
Many people think that living habits are just trivial matters. When two people stay together for a long time, their living habits will naturally become similar. .
But in fact, different eating habits and life attitudes have a more serious impact on the relationship than imagined.
Two people cannot eat or play together, especially in a long-term relationship, the inappropriateness will become more and more obvious.
It is difficult for a person who goes to the gym after get off work and is very controlling in his diet to be with a person who likes to enjoy delicious food and doesn’t care about his body shape;
A person who likes to take a vacation will People who stay at home comfortably do not like to be dragged along by people who love to travel.
There is really a big difference between occasional dating and living together. Once we live together, conflicts in living habits will really test the relationship.
Finally, do you have support from your relatives and friends?
Although your own choices have nothing to do with others, even your parents, it is wrong to interfere with your feelings, but I have to say that a marriage and love relationship is not favored by the people closest to you who support you. , it can indeed explain some problems.
If both parents and best friends are not optimistic about the relationship, then there is a high probability that the two people will not get along well and will easily part ways.
In addition, you need to see whether you can promote each other in your relationship. Being true to yourself does not conflict with being a better version of yourself.
Life is a process of continuous enrichment and self-improvement. If a marriage relationship can allow two people to gain positive motivation, then this relationship is a good relationship. No matter how passionate a relationship is, it will encounter a period of burnout during the long process of getting along, and it is inevitable to feel numb.
But if both people continue to grow, this upward change can also make up for the boring feeling of "ten years the same day" to a large extent.
If you meet these points, you really don’t have to worry about the outcome, because as long as you manage your relationship carefully, the outcome will be good.
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