How can couples communicate correctly to make their relationship better- - maintain feelings

Occasional conflicts and frictions between lovers are normal. If you don’t communicate at this time, it is easy for the two parties to deepen their resentment until they finally break up. How can lovers communicate correctly? What about better relationships?

1. Manage your emotions well

If couples want to communicate correctly, the first thing they need to do is to manage their emotions well and not spread negative energy. When you are depressed and irritable, learn to control your emotions and don't use other people as an outlet.

When your emotions are on the verge of losing control, don’t make any decisions, use “although...but...” more often, and focus more on some positive and beautiful things to enlighten yourself. Or before speaking, think for three seconds before deciding whether the sentence should be spoken.

2. Discuss the matter

Some people always avoid problems in love relationships. For example, some Most men will choose to escape or even ignore women's hysteria because they are unwilling to face conflict.

There are also people who do not want to cause their lovers to be unhappy, so they will give up on themselves to satisfy their lovers, so they choose to avoid conflicts.

However, avoidance often cannot solve the problem. The most effective way is to admit the conflict and face it bravely.

In fact, conflicts between lovers are not terrible, because after two independent individuals establish a relationship, they both need to get along.

Acknowledging that there are conflicts and differences in concepts between two people is the basis for understanding. Without understanding and acknowledgment of individual differences, there will certainly be no healthy or long-lasting relationship.

The most taboo thing in a quarrel is personal attacks. Such language will not only hurt the other party, but also add fuel to the fire of your quarrel, and the original problem cannot be solved.

Therefore, when quarreling, you can only argue and communicate about the things that cause conflicts at the moment. Do not go over old scores or involve other information.

When you realize that the quarrel is going to turn bad, think about it in your mind, are you arguing about the original content?

Try to calm yourself down and focus the topic on the present moment. Only by focusing on the problem can we better solve the problem instead of creating greater conflicts.

3. Correct expression

Knowing how to express your thoughts correctly can make communication with each other smoother. the correct way.

For example, your boyfriend made a joke at a party and made you very angry. When your boyfriend came to comfort you, you asked "What did you do wrong?" and your boyfriend said, "I did everything wrong." The underlying meaning of this statement is that he doesn't know where he went wrong.

So you became even more angry and kicked him out of the house, don't answer the phone, don't reply to messages, after your boyfriend tried his best, he has nothing to do, so he won't come to coax you.

How would a woman with high emotional intelligence deal with this kind of thing?

She would say after the party when she was getting along with her boyfriend, "When we were eating just now, you Calling me lazy and hot-tempered, although it was a joke, I felt embarrassed in front of my friends, which made me feel very hurt."

This sentence lets your boyfriend know your feelings. After thinking about it, you also know how your behavior makes you feel.

Then you can express your expectations, "Don't give me face like this in the future, okay."

This actually contains such a saying: event + emotional reaction + suggestion (or explanation).

　That is:

　"When you (you don't like what he does or like what he does), it always makes me feel (how you feel)" . So next time /I hope (what you want him to do), okay, dear?"

This technique can not only strengthen your boyfriend to continue doing what you like , and it can reduce him from doing things you don’t like.

Many times, girls always like to let boys guess their thoughts and do not say anything directly. But after guessing, the contradictions are getting bigger and bigger. Knowing how to express them correctly will make the communication between you more effective.

People always ask me, how to run a good relationship and a good marriage?

In fact, it is very simple, that is, you have to "speak well" and you are willing to tolerate and accommodate, and He also knows when enough is enough.

When two people live together, you cannot coax me and I coax you. Only by talking to each other well can you become more connected and make happiness everywhere.

A happy relationship requires treating the person who loves you and the person you love well. Because there is love, every word must be said well.