Some couples are sweet together every day and seldom quarrel, but there are also couples who often quarrel. What is wrong with this situation and how to avoid it?
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1. What does it mean that two people often quarrel?
Generally speaking, quarrels can be divided into "Steel", "Heartless" and "Great Power Cold War".
1. Hating iron but not steel
What is the quarrel of "hating iron but not steel"? In fact, in a sense, this is not a quarrel, but a general problem in the relationship between the sexes. It is the reprimand and criticism from the stronger party to the always weaker party, while the other party mostly swallows it and endures it silently, only breaking out and resisting in rare cases.
Similar forms of quarrels are most likely to occur in relationships between siblings and siblings. One party habitually plays the role of a "controlling parent" while the other always plays the role of a "submissive parent". "child" role.
2. Heartless
"Heartless" is the first word we often encounter. Two quarrel modes. From the perspective of his interactive analysis psychology, both parties in the quarrel are in the state of "free children".
The typical feature of this week’s quarrel pattern is that it comes and goes in a hurry. Two people often have a big fight over some particularly trivial things.
But after the fight, they never get over it. Within a few minutes, the two of them "smiled away their grudges", and even after the happy quarrel, the two of them had forgotten what the reason for the quarrel was... Then, the two of them continued to play happily... …
3. Cold War between the Great Powers
What kind of quarrel pattern is the "Cold War between the Great Powers"? In fact, the most common manifestation is that two people ignore the other and get sulky together.
When two people are in this quarrel mode, the energy of the "submissive child" in their bodies has gained the upper hand, and each has established a relationship.
The "invulnerable" turtle shell shrinks its head tightly.
Unless one of them finally bows his head and pleads guilty, and has to be comforted in every possible way, the other person will be willing to forgive temporarily and wait and see what happens next. Although there is no quarrel at this time, the emotion like a dark cloud will still hang over the two people for a long time...
2. How to avoid frequent quarrels
It is normal for a couple to quarrel together. After all, no matter how well two people get along, it is impossible to completely avoid differences.
However, two people still have to find ways to avoid frequent quarrels, otherwise the relationship between the two parties will become more and more quarrelsome. So what should be done?
1. Think about the problem from the other person's perspective
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When we think about the problem from the perspective of girls, you will find that girls are not only concerned about games, but also want your company or your ambition, so we show care and love to girls Or self-examination will make girls feel more gratified and happy than swearing not to play games in the future.
2. Change your way of thinking
Everyone tries to change others and become what they imagine. It looks like this, but you will find that no one is willing to accept this method. This is a typical "male chauvinism" that wants girls to follow their own ideas. In fact, if we can change our thinking, Don't change girls but change yourself, and you will find that there will be unexpected gains, because the person who changes first is the strong one. When you improve your emotional intelligence and know how to deal with a relationship, everyone can't do without you. , you have the confidence to let go of a relationship easily, which is a manifestation of your strong sense of value. You don't lack people to like you, you have scarcity. It will boost your self-confidence.
3. Guide the other person to pay for you
Why do some people pay a lot to girls, but girls don’t buy it, because they don’t know what girls want, it’s just wishful thinking I gave what I wanted to give. Unable to control one's own emotions, girls cannot accept bad emotional feedback. Only by learning to guide girls' emotions, know how to screen, guide the other party to take the initiative when giving value, and understand their true inner thoughts, can we communicate with them. Girls build good relationships.