Marriage is different from love. Even if you are in love, once you enter the marriage, it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time if you don't know how to manage it. Next, the editor will bring you some principles that can make your marriage last longer. If you want to manage your own marriage well, you must understand it.
1. Husband and wife relationship
1. In Chinese-style marriage and love relationships, The most important thing in most marriages is not love, but cars, banknotes, household registration and school district housing. When your elders get married, the first thing they ask you will not be "Will you and him be happy?", but "How much money can this young man earn and what is his family background like?"
2. The relationship between husband and wife is the decisive factor in maintaining the stability of the entire extended family. In married life, the mutual growth and mutual tolerance between husband and wife are the foundation for the happiness and health of all members of a family.
3. Marriage is not the grave of love, but a marriage that does not know how to give and how to ask for emotional needs is.
4. In the relationship between the sexes, when men are needed and recognized by others, they will become active, motivated, and responsible in assuming their marital obligations. When women feel that they are cared for and valued, they will become gentle, considerate, independent and confident.
5. Ways to end endless quarrels in marriage: Men must learn to listen and take care of their needs, while girls must learn to recognize and tolerate boys' shortcomings.
Boys should learn to say one thing in marriage: Don’t be anxious, speak slowly, I’m listening. Girls should also learn to say one thing during marriage: You have done a good job in this matter, and it is not your fault.
6. Marriage without the ability to plan wealth is equivalent to the "chronic death" of the relationship between the sexes.
7. Why are cars, bills and houses important after marriage? The house is one of the most basic sources of security. The car determines the breadth and quality of social interaction in the relationship, and the bills determine the resistance of both parties. The final confidence in risk. Both sexes can have nothing when they get married, but families that do not know how to accumulate and create these marriage necessities will most likely be unhappy.
8. In married life, do not try to forcefully change the other person, let alone make decisions for the other person from the commanding heights of "I am for your own good". A good partner must not be created by being demanding, but by constantly guiding and making each other realize that "they must achieve better selves for the sake of marriage."
9. Cheating is never a momentary thought of either party in the marriage. If a person is willing to cross the moral bottom line and choose to cheat, most of his needs will never be satisfied in this marriage. Don't expect a person to be loyal to you forever. When you are unable to meet the other person's needs for a long time, the other person will not be far from cheating.
10.·Six basic emotional needs of men in marriage: trust, acceptance and encouragementReward, recognition, adoration and appreciation
·The six basic emotional needs of women in marriage: care, understanding, respect, safety, consideration and loyalty
2. Children’s Education
1. A good native family can heal a child’s life, but a painful native family requires a person’s lifetime to heal. The most critical education for children is never exam-oriented education, but the profound and lasting educational effect of the family environment on children.
2. In order to raise a child well, parents should give their children as much love and care as possible before the child is three years old, so as to form a seamless "intimacy" between the children and their parents. alliance". After the child reaches the age of six, parents must learn to gradually let go of their children, allowing them to learn to view the world independently and develop a positive sense of self-personality.
3. The personality of a mother’s boy/girl is often formed before a child is 12 years old. If a family is only dominated by the mother, and the role of the male is negligible, then the child will subconsciously find it difficult to break away from the symbiotic relationship with the mother, and the "Oedipus complex" will become more and more serious.
4. Parents are always the first “sexual enlightenment teachers” in their children’s eyes. Some extreme character development in children, such as avoidant attachment personality, extreme anxiety personality, and even domestic violence, are often perceived and learned from their childhood parents.
5. In the "four-two-one" family structure, children must not be regarded as the top priority of the entire family. If you want your children to develop a healthy and positive concept of gender, you must not only let them feel the taste of "being loved", but also cultivate their ability to "love others".
6. Don’t treat your children in the name of “loving them”. Parents should always understand one thing: you are just the guide and guide of your child’s life. Don’t treat your lack of social presence Fasten to child. Children are always free individuals with independent existence, not the continuation and carrier of "your spirit and your ideals".
7. Why doesn’t your child like to study? It’s not because he is not born to learn. But in this family, neither parent takes the initiative to learn and improve his or her own awareness. If the children do not have the ability and impulse to learn before the age of six, they will naturally not be able to keep up with others in the quality education they receive.
8. Parents should have the most basic sense of boundaries for their healthy love for their children. Treat every mistake of your children sternly, and learn to respect your children's ideas and space. Achieve a degree of relaxation, which not only has the most basic bottom line, but also has the awareness to tolerate the free growth of children.
9. Not wanting your children to lose at the starting line does not depend on how much money parents spend on their children. The starting point for a child to enter school depends on a child's patience and learning ability. Don't force yourselfForcing the child to accept an interest class that he completely hates, otherwise it will only make him suffer and reject future studies. At the same time, the key to letting children accept the boringness of something is not to order, supervise or blame, but to inspire interest and cultivate patience.
10. Parents are always a mirror to their children. How parents treat their own parents will often determine how their children will treat you in the future.
3. Family model
1. Whether the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is harmonious or not, in which men often play a decisive role. And men must put the relationship between husband and wife first in the family relationship to make their mothers realize that "they must gradually let go of the discipline of the small family", and at the same time, the mother has a clear awareness to correct the differences between the large family and the small family. Only with relationship order can the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be stable and harmonious.
2. There is such an eternal truth in marriage: only love will be exchanged for love, and resentment will only be exchanged for resentment. This is true for children, parents, and partners.
3. Husband and wife should cultivate the right to distribute and have a voice in joint property, and maintain the greatest degree of transparency when dealing with joint savings issues. The so-called "brother-supporting demon" is often born from the lack of awareness of economic distribution between both sexes and the low transparency of property after marriage.
4. Economic independence is always a woman’s last trump card. When marriage becomes the only source of survival for women, then in this marriage and love relationship, women will involuntarily be in a parasitic relationship. This will inevitably lead to an extremely unbalanced family status after marriage. If women do not have a presence that can check and balance men's rights, then love is destined to collapse.
5. How to cure “Mama’s Boy”?
From a psychological point of view, a man’s excessive dependence on his mother comes from his automatic shielding of the relationship with motherhood. ” sense of boundary. Therefore, the way to cure a mama's boy is to stimulate his inner hatred and shame for his mother's over-indulgence and clarify his own mature boundary awareness. Only then can a man completely break away from his symbiosis with his mother.
6. Sex life is an indispensable catalyst in marriage. If the sex life of both parties is not harmonious after marriage, do not ignore it as "feeling fatigue". If necessary, seek professional advice. Guidance and therapy.
7. Regardless of whether you are a man or a woman, do not have excessive expectations for your mother-in-law or mother-in-law. Expect her to treat you like your own mother. Just respect and listen, listen to suggestions comprehensively, accept and make choices selectively, so as to avoid conflicts and quarrels as much as possible.
8. The normal way to deal with "promoting birth" when faced with both parents: actively communicate with each other's fertility concepts and responsibilities, fully express that "our life decisions are jointly made by each other", and do small things At the same time, both parties must know how to establish a relationship between "everyone and the small family".border line.
9. Regarding fertility issues, both parents must make a decision after careful thought and consideration. Never have a child in a hurry and then leave it to the parents to take care of them. This is a more or less disguised harm to both sexes, parents and children.
10. Whether it is a good partner, good children, or a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is definitely not given to you by God, but is achieved by two or more parties.
Marriage is not the source of your happiness, but through your continuous self-correction, patient cultivation, and continuous tolerance and understanding, marriage will feedback to you a positive sense of happiness.
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