In marriage, many couples often start a cold war when they encounter problems, and no one likes to talk to the other. As time goes by, the relationship between the two people becomes weaker and weaker, and they begin to accumulate a certain degree of resentment towards each other... Such a cold war Should the marriage continue?
1. The damage of the Cold War to marriage
The longer the Cold War lasts, the worse the relationship between the couple will be. The weaker the relationship, the faster the relationship breaks down than the speed of relationship cultivation. When encountering something in marriage, the two of you must calm down and communicate, rather than procrastinate in a cold war.
Sometimes the cold war is not about not wanting to communicate, but about avoiding the outburst of one's emotions. However, the emotions are suppressed in the mind, and there will be no relief. Instead, conflicts continue to accumulate. Once the trigger appears, it will be emotions. Big explosion on.
One of the greatest harms caused by the Cold War to marriage is trust. Once a trust crisis occurs in a marriage, it will be difficult to restore the previous sense of trust. It is difficult for people to have doubts and grudges in their hearts. eradicated.
If a marriage is happy, the children are happy; if the marriage is unhappy, the children are unhappy. This is an inevitable result. If a husband and wife are always in a cold war, and the child is the one caught in the middle, his body and heart will suffer double torture. In such a family atmosphere, children will also become taciturn, timid and have low self-esteem, and may even become autistic in severe cases.
2. How to end the Cold War
Charlie Munger once said a truth: "If you want For something, you must first make yourself worthy of it!”.
If you want to end the Cold War, you must make the other party think that there is no need to continue the Cold War. Here are some suggestions on how to end the Cold War:
1) Calm yourself down. If you are in an irrational state during the marital cold war - holding grudges, anger, complaints, paranoia and other emotions, then your attitude can easily be conveyed to the other party, so calm yourself down first. first step.
2) Communicate proactively and end the cold war. Don’t always imagine that the other party is bowing down. It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong. What is important is that you want to spend happily with the other person in the future. Happiness is something you strive for. rather than fantasy.
3) Forget the past. After the Cold War is over, don’t bring up the past again and keep uncovering the scars. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past. A new beginning is the key to marriage.
3. Should Cold War marriages continue?
Cold War marriages are also marriages and cannot be based on This factor determines the future of marriage. In real life, after a cold war breaks out, many couples tend to put the blame on each other, thinking that they have caused a cold war.It's all the other person's fault. I think that if I get divorced and find another person, I can be happy.
However, the reality is that most people who get married for the second time are often more unhappy than before. Happiness or not does not depend on others, it always depends on yourself.
Many people are actually just a giant baby when they get married, because the marriage they think is always a marriage they imagined would be beneficial to them. Once the reality does not match their expectations, they will blame their spouse. half. Therefore, what matters is not the cold war in your marriage, but how you behave in it.
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