Question: I have a friend of the opposite sex whom I have known for many years. We are purely friends, with no ambiguity or other intentions. But my girlfriend asked me to delete it, saying that she has done so much for me and is not as good as such a friend? I am very helpless now. After all, we have known each other for many years. Regardless of whether we are male or female, it is really hard to break off the relationship with such a friend, and it will also break the friend's heart. What should I do now?
What should I do if my girlfriend asks me to delete friends of the opposite sex
Answer:
1. Why does my girlfriend ask me to delete friends of the opposite sex
Before I answer your question, I want to ask a question first: How did your girlfriend know that you had a friend of the opposite sex that you had known for many years, and finally forced you to delete the friend of the opposite sex? Basically, no girl will ask her boyfriend to delete friends of the opposite sex right away. There is only one possibility for her to do this: she finds that the frequency of contact between you is too high, or even some abnormal contact.
If you just have a friend of the opposite sex who you have known for many years, and occasionally ask about each other’s current situation, I think most people can understand. Even sometimes when you talk to your girlfriend about your friend, she might also share her own analysis and opinions.
However, if you have frequent contact and you give priority to letting her know something rather than letting your girlfriend know, or chatting with this person every now and then, then this will definitely arouse your girlfriend's strong feelings. I was dissatisfied, and finally asked you to delete friends of the opposite sex.
2. Are you really just a pure friendship with your friend of the opposite sex?
Let’s talk about friends of the opposite sex again. problem. I actually don’t really want to discuss whether there is pure friendship between men and women, because I feel that discussing this issue on an empty basis has no practical significance.
When I encounter such a problem, I usually ask the other party three questions:
Suppose one day, you are single, and this person comes over to confess to you, Will you accept the other person?
Suppose one day this person becomes very rich, cheerful and beautiful. When he appears in front of you, will you be moved?
When you were not together at the beginning, was it because you felt that the two of you were really not suitable and could only be friends, or was it because you were blocked by some realistic conditions, or because there was no suitable opportunity for each other, so you missed it?
If you need to think deeply about these questions before you can give me a reluctant answer, then I think your relationship with this friend of the opposite sex itself is particularly dangerous: you actually have no way of explaining it clearly. Your feelings for this person, the reason why you are not together may just be the time difference and chance, so you only maintain the relationship of friends now, but in fact, there will be more or less feelings in your heart or in this person's heart.A little bit of anticipation.
Moreover, the reason why your girlfriend is so sensitive is probably because she accurately captured this point, so she is so scrupulous.
The last thing I want to say is that in fact, you are still struggling with this issue now, and you really haven’t thought it through. In fact, the essence of this question is very simple: when some of your actions make your partner feel uncomfortable, are you willing to make some changes and concessions?
You are still very naughty now. To put it bluntly, you are still struggling: This person and I are just friends. I have never done anything that crosses the boundary. I don’t think my girlfriend should react so violently. Your girlfriend should also know that nothing happened between you, but what she is discussing with you now is: she hopes you can respect her feelings and make some changes and compromises.
I know you think this is unreasonable, but let’s put it bluntly: there is no reason in relationships. For example, your girlfriend happens to be traveling with a male colleague, so every time your girlfriend gets off work, she will take the male colleague's car and ask him to give her a ride - this is normal, and nothing happened between her and the male colleague, but if Your girlfriend takes another man's car to get off work every day. Wouldn't it make you feel uncomfortable too? Do you also hope that your girlfriend will not do this?
So sometimes, the reason why we have so much conflict and resentment in our relationships is largely because we have not thought clearly: what the other party needs is not an argument based on facts and principles, but rather What is required is that you respect your emotions and feelings.
The problem now is very straightforward: if you want to keep in touch with friends of the opposite sex, then your girlfriend cannot accept it; if you want your girlfriend to stop being angry and conflicting with you, Then cut off contact with friends of the opposite sex.
❋ Tags: