Fighting is an inevitable problem that couples will encounter, and dividing things during a quarrel is even more difficult. When two people are emotionally charged, it's easy to make impulsive decisions that can be emotionally damaging. Therefore, when facing this situation, we need to calm down and deal with the issue of dividing things rationally.
1. Calm down
When an argument occurs, the first thing to do is to calm down. Decisions made in the heat of emotion are often unwise and may be regretted. Therefore, both parties should temporarily stop arguing and give each other some time and space to think calmly.
You can choose a quiet place to sit down and take a few deep breaths to calm down your emotions. At the same time, you can also use some relaxing methods, such as listening to music, walking or writing in a diary, to help you regain your composure.
2. Communication
When both parties have calmed down, communication can begin. This stage is very important because only through effective communication can a solution to the problem be found.
First, both parties should openly express their thoughts and feelings. Be careful to use the correct tone and wording to avoid hurting the other person's feelings. At the same time, you should also listen to the other person’s point of view and respect the other person’s feelings.
During the communication process, you can try to find out the root cause of the problem and find a solution together. This will not only solve the problem of dividing things, but also enhance mutual understanding and trust.
3. Fair distribution
When both parties reach a consensus, fair distribution can begin. When dividing things, we must follow the principles of fairness, reasonableness, and mutual benefit.
First, items can be sorted by value. For example, if it is some valuable items, the value can be assessed based on the market price. If it is an emotionally important item, the value can be assessed based on how dependent both parties are on the item.
Then, distribution can be done in turn. One person selects an item, then the other person selects an item, alternating until all items have been selected. This ensures that everyone has a chance to choose their favorite items.
If there are some items that cannot be divided equally, you can consider other ways to solve the problem. For example, you could negotiate to sell the item and split the proceeds equally, or place the item in safekeeping until both parties reach an agreement again.
4. Learn to compromise
During the process of dividing things, both parties may encounter some difficult-to-solve problems. At this time, it is very important to learn to compromise.
Compromise does not mean giving up one's own rights and interests, but making some concessions on the basis of respecting the other party. You can try to find a compromise solution, so that both parties can accept it.
At the same time, you must also clarify your bottom line. If there is something that is very important to you, you can stick to your position and communicate and negotiate reasonably with the other party.
5. Learn from quarrels
Although quarrels are not a good thing, we can learn a lot from them. Quarrel is a process of understanding and adapting to each other between lovers.
After a quarrel, you can reflect on your shortcomings in the quarrel and try to improve. You can think about your emotional management abilities, communication skills, etc., to improve your ability to deal with issues such as dividing things.
At the same time, we must also learn to be tolerant and tolerant. Everyone has their own ideas and ways of doing things, and we should respect each other's independence and try to understand each other's point of view.
When quarreling and dividing things with your girlfriend, it is very important to calm down, communicate, distribute fairly, learn to compromise, and learn from the quarrel. Only by dealing with these issues rationally and maturely can we maintain good feelings and grow together.
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