Everyone has their own unique personality, and the longevity of a relationship is often determined by the personalities of two people. Is it better for two people to be together with complementary personalities or similar personalities? Below, I will give you an analysis. Which one lasts longer, a complementary type or a similar type of marriage?
1. Advantages of complementary couples
Xiaofei and her boyfriend, on the surface, look They are not a perfect match, and their personalities and temperaments are also very different. Xiaofei is enthusiastic, smooth, and a smoky girl. She is a down-to-earth girl in the secular world
Her boyfriend has a significant literary and artistic atmosphere and a sensitive heart. He is not down-to-earth and is a "melancholy handsome man". These two people are so "incompatible". They have been together for eight years and held their wedding this year.
Many people think that Xiaofei and her boyfriend are a typical complementary couple
In fact, Xiaofei said that when she is with her boyfriend, she can quickly escape the pain of reality and enter the world of love. To an ideal literary world
She likes to listen to her boyfriend talk about history and literature. Watching her boyfriend talk eloquently, she seems to see what she has always longed for.
Xiao Fei’s boyfriend also said that Xiao Fei could bring him back to reality quickly when he was stuck in a writing bottleneck and couldn’t extricate himself from the characters in the play. The fireworks of reality would heal him. Melancholy and pain
He thinks it is good to be a secular person. He likes to go to the vegetable market with Xiaofei, likes to go to the supermarket with Xiaofei, and looks at the noisy streets with Xiaofei. He feels particularly at ease. .
2. The difference between implicit personality and explicit personality
From a psychological perspective, When love happens, you have a certain feeling in your heart, "You will be the other person for the rest of your life."
In fact, it comes more from the sense of familiarity. From the other person's gestures, you see the other person buried deep in your subconscious. A self.
That self is actually the hidden personality that you have been suppressing, and it is also the self that you have always wanted to be but ultimately failed to become, so the person you finally fall in love with may be "yourself" .
There is a saying about love that goes like this. The process of finding love is actually a process of finding the complete self. Therefore, two people with complementary personalities are more likely to have a stable marriage.
3. Personality allows you to meet a better version of yourself
If your dominant personality is outgoing and cheerful Yes, the hidden personality is introverted and not talkative. This is probably because when you were growing up, you realized that your extroverted self is more popular
So you will show this personality more and put it aside This personality becomes its own mastergrid. As we often say, everyone has two sides, and this is also the result of self-selection.
That introverted personality will be hidden, but when you meet someone with a similar hidden personality to your own, you will feel familiar because the other person arouses the depths of your heart 's other self.
But not all couples who encounter hidden personalities can reach the end, because in addition to this destined attraction, the way they get along with each other is also crucial.
Some people will continue this sense of familiarity and are willing to tolerate the differences between others and themselves
4 , peace, independence, and common development
Just like we mentioned Xiao Fei and her boyfriend earlier, they are willing to accept the hidden self, so they are similar and complementary, and can achieve a certain level in love. The effect of adding one is greater than two
They not only help each other become a more mature version of themselves, but also allow their dominant and recessive personalities to reach a relative balance.
But some people overemphasize their dominant personality and want to change their partners to become the same person as themselves.
But this idea itself is unrealistic. Everyone is independent, and no one can become a puppet in the hands of another person. While you are trying your best to change the other person, you also make the other person lose. That sense of certainty about you and love.
"If I am no longer me, then do you still love me?"
The truth of love is that no matter who you fall in love with in the end, you will always be in the other person or Find your own shadow more or less, and this shadow may be what you have always wanted to be.
In summary, complementary marriage has its benefits, similar marriage also has its advantages, and long-term marriages gradually become similar through initial complementation.
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