I had a good chat with the girl, but when I approached her again, she suddenly ignored me. What caused this situation, and what should I do in this situation?
1. Too enthusiastic
I wonder if you have noticed that any attractive man will not deliberately try to please girls?</ p>
Most men want to be nice to a girl after they like her, so they cater to her in every way, follow her wishes in everything, and show their attentiveness to the girl whenever they have nothing to do. I feel that doing this will definitely make the girl happy and make her happy, and my goodwill in her heart will double. In fact, in the end, those who were too enthusiastic about girls were issued good guy cards.
Of course, this category of "enthusiasm" is not limited to being attentive. There is another even more terrifying type: after meeting a girl you like, releasing an almost crazy enthusiasm towards the girl. , wishing to chase her immediately, and kept rushing to ask the girl to confirm a relationship with him.
I have a friend who is like this. His conditions are quite good. He is a civil servant and has two apartments at home, so his conditions are naturally very good. However, he is still single in his thirties, so his family is in a hurry. He feels that he has a house, a car, a savings, an identity, and all the conditions for marriage. He is just waiting for a girl he likes. No, one day a friend introduced a girl to him. The girl thought that he had good conditions and was quite satisfied with her. She was willing to date him.
However, this relationship is not that relationship. The girl means to get to know each other first and get to know each other, but it does not mean to confirm the relationship. After all, we have just met, who would confirm it with you so quickly? What about the relationship? This brother also feels that since the girl recognizes him, the relationship between them is almost the same, so she is equivalent to being his girlfriend. Therefore, I am very eager to get along with the girl as a couple, and I often give her some requirements that only couples have.
"Baby, can you give me a pop every day before going to bed."
"Look, I'm right You are so nice, but you don’t even call me husband.”
“If we get married, where should we do it and who should we invite?”
The girl became a little impatient later. , showed him his cards and said: "Can you please stop being so anxious? We have just met, how could we get to this point all of a sudden. Feelings develop slowly, and your being so impatient will only scare people."
Of course, the boy definitely didn’t listen at first. He was really anxious and thought there was nothing wrong with what he did. Now that you agree with me, shouldn’t we discuss the future? Press forward step by step. Later, the girl couldn't stand this self-righteous attitude and pulled him awayYou can't afford to offend someone, and you can't even hide from them! Moderate enthusiasm is like a hand warmer in the cold winter months. It can provide a girl with the emotional needs she needs, and give her a sense of security and dependence. Excessive enthusiasm is like the scorching sun in June, no one can bear it anymore. In a word, being too enthusiastic about girls will really scare them away! Remember, when chasing girls, you must not rush. Food is eaten one bite at a time, and the road is walked step by step. The same is true for chasing girls. Taking it step by step is the best way to chase girls.
2. Too polite
(1) Male: "Thank you for yesterday."
Female: "You don't have to be so polite."
Male: "No, that's right. After all, you have helped me so much."
Female: "I don't feel used to you being so polite." (Boys are too polite and girls feel distanced. Feeling.)
Male: "I'm sorry, I'll pay attention next time."
Female: "Um...okay." The girl is disappointed with the polite attitude)
(2) Female: “I found the one you mentioned, do you need me to buy it for you?”
Male: “Really. Thank you so much. I’ve been looking for it for a long time. Please bring me some and I’ll treat you to dinner.”
Female: “It’s okay. I just happen to be idle and bored, so I can help you by the way.” "(The lively tone shows that the girl is happy to be able to help the boy.)
Male: "Don't be so polite, I should treat you to this meal." (Calling the girl. Don't be polite, but in fact I have been being polite. )
Girl: "Well, friends should help each other." (The boy's attitude gradually made the atmosphere more rigid, and the girl's tone also changed from lively to stiff. .) Seeing these two conversations in WeChat chat, I don’t know how many brothers saw the pattern of chatting with girls.
How many people only know that yelling and using rough language at girls will be disliked, but they never expected to be too polite. Will she be disgusted by her? "I like her, so I have to be nice to her." This should be a consciousness in everyone's heart. Because I like her, I care, and because I care, I have to be gentle to her. To wait.
But too many people confuse gentleness with politeness. Originally they just thought that I should treat her better, but in the end they showed that they were always polite to girls, just like the previous example. In fact, when we first meet a girl, we should be polite if we want to get close to her. But brothers, being polite is only limited to the initial stage, to give her a good impression! If you continue to be polite later, it will not be so beneficial to your relationship.
What are the problems here? Let me analyze them one by one for you.
First of all, be politeDegree is a sense of distance. It means that the two parties are not familiar enough or it is inconvenient to get too close for some purpose, so they always maintain a proper politeness in communication to show their attitude. It makes girls feel like they are chatting with customers. After you get to know each other, you are still so polite. Girls will feel that there must be a gap between you.
Secondly, if you are still polite after you have known each other for a while, a girl will think that you have not opened your heart to her yet, but that you are still very polite after confirming the relationship, so the girl should doubt whether you are. She really likes her! If she takes the initiative to flirt with you, you will always be polite to her. Girls with qualified emotional intelligence will understand without exception (to be honest, it is a misunderstanding) that you are rejecting her.
Understand, if a girl is interested in you, she really, really doesn’t like you chatting with her in this tone, because it doesn’t feel like falling in love at all, and sometimes girls even I’m so embarrassed that I don’t know how to reply to you. If a girl is not interested in you and you are still so polite, then there is no way to make her feel close to you. The deeper the relationship develops, the higher her expectations for you will be, and the more she hopes to get from you, so your polite attitude will make her feel more disappointed. Of course, this way of chatting with girls generally doesn't develop very far.
So, if you don’t want to be ignored by girls when chatting on WeChat, then don’t keep saying “please”, “thank you” and “hello” to her.
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