Why can’t I let go even though I know it’s not suitable-

★ Posted on 12-11,2024



No one doesn’t look forward to a mutually satisfying relationship. However, in reality, most relationships are wishful thinking. So why are you still unwilling to let go of such a relationship even though you know that the other person is not suitable for you?

This question depends on the situation.

It mainly depends on two aspects. On the one hand, whether you can tell the specific reasons why you like the other person; on the other hand, whether it is possible to solve the problems between the two parties.

Do you know why you like the other person? If you can't explain clearly, but "you don't know where the love comes from, it goes deeper and deeper", it basically means that your infatuation and obsession are caused by hormones.

Coupled with the situation of wanting but not getting it or getting it and losing it again, this situation of wanting but not being able to reach will also amplify the illusion of "love", making ordinary objects appear particularly charming, and making ordinary objects appear particularly charming. The feelings seem unforgettable.

If you are really together, once the passion period is over, the halo and filter will be gone, leaving only various bad experiences of getting along with each other caused by "inappropriateness".

You will think, "Am I blind at the beginning? Why should I be with him?"

By then you will not even have the energy to solve the "inappropriate" situation and will have no choice but to break up. Such a relationship will have no salvage value. .

If you know why you like the other person, take stock of the sense of gain you get from being with him.

For example, he is a person who is passionate about life, and his contagiousness is very strong. When you are with him, you will be upward and more motivated to work hard and live seriously. You like to be with him. His self when he was together;

Another example is that you two often have soul-colliding exchanges, sympathy for each other, etc.

Only these reasons that can be counted can form the conditions for you to strive for, because they are relatively stable and will not change after the love period.

The value they continuously output can also serve as motivation for you to work hard to manage your relationship, and also make you willing to work hard to get along with the other person.

Let’s talk about the second aspect, whether it is possible to solve the problem between the two parties.

What does it mean that you are not suitable? This is very important in judging whether you should save this relationship.

If you want to say that your plans for your future life are completely different, one wants to stay in a big city and strive to get ahead, and the other wants to return to a small place to live a stable and warm life, then this incompatibility can be solved. Can't solve the problem.

This kind of disagreement seems easy to handle. One person can compromise for love and follow the other person, but in fact the consequences are endless.

Because in the future life, the victim will subconsciously raise his expectations for the other half because he does not live the life he wants.

Once you do not get enough compensation, you will easily feel grievances and complaints, which will lead to long-term tension in the relationship between husband and wife and induce various marital crises.

If you want to say that two people have different lifestyles, one has a routine, one reverses black and white, one pursues emotions, and the other is informal, then it depends on whether the two parties are willing to coordinate, whether they are willing to respect each other, and The principle of seeking common ground while reserving differences slowly moves closer to each other. If one person is unhappy, it will be difficult to maintain the relationship.

If you say that two people have difficulty communicating and always quarrel, the reason why this situation cannot be solved is basically because they use the wrong solution.

Because communication has strategies, techniques and formulas, you can gain experience through learning. If you can master business skills, you will have the initiative to guide the healthy development of relationships.

Of course, there are more than just these three categories of unsuitable partners, and the specific situation must be analyzed in detail.

But the principle is that before saving the relationship, you must first make sure that the problem between two people is of a solvable type, and that you are willing to devote time and energy to solving it.

The most important thing is to make it clear why you like the other person and evaluate whether the relationship is worth it.


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