Some boys can’t find girlfriends because their conditions are limited, but other boys clearly have very good conditions and are trying hard to chase girls, but why can’t they find a girlfriend?
1. Excellence and reliability are inversely proportional
In the pursuit stage, girls pay more attention to the "excellence" of boys' conditions. " Or not, so we will spend time improving our external image and dressing ourselves up. There is nothing wrong with this.
When preparing to date, she actually pays more attention to whether the boy is "reliable". At this time, if we continue to work on excellence, it will easily make her lose her sense of security.
In fact, there is only one reason why a girl becomes cold towards you. You may be good enough, but in her eyes, you are not reliable enough to be a lover.
The meaning here is not to say that image is not important.
I’ve known a girl for a while. In order to make her feel safe, I didn’t even wash my hair during a date with her. The sense of security was sufficient, but that’s not what I meant.
In comparison, before establishing a relationship, reliability is given higher priority than excellence. And there is a progressive relationship between them.
We have to be similar in image first, then girls will be willing to understand your inner reliability. If you don't pay attention to your image from the beginning, it will be difficult to have the opportunity to show your reliable inner world to the girl.
Therefore, in the stage of establishing a relationship, the better your conditions, the more you need to know how to release your own availability and find the balance point that is both excellent and reliable. Be more practical and less bells and whistles to avoid turning girls away.
2. Exclusivity of love
You are good to her, but maybe you are not bad to others either. She didn't feel like she was being treated differently. So she will think, do you treat everyone like this?
At this time, you may want to say, I don’t usually have contact with other girls, how could she think that I treat others like that.
We all know that girls pay great attention to details. She will make up the complete picture of you from the little things in your life.
For example, if she takes her best friend on a date with you, you have a high emotional intelligence and know that if you want to get a girl, you must first get her best friend;
Or even ordinary boys know that when In front of a girl's best friend, she has to be pretty similar no matter what.
No matter what kind of thinking mode you have, the path that ultimately leads to your behavior is: not only be good to the girl, but also be good to her best friends.
You think you are a good and polite young man, but in the eyes of a girl, she might mistakenly think that you are flirting with her best friend.
Must not have any contact with a girl’s best friend??
Of course not, it’s just that you maintain your own sense of boundaries. Especially when your own conditions are particularly good, you have to know the meaning of every contact with the opposite sex.
3. The future she sees in you is very small
Many boys with good conditions do not Know how to show your potential to girls so that girls can't see the future.
Many people firmly believe that "a good marriage or love will make them better and better" (actually, it will make two people better and better), which means that the other person actually treats this relationship as a need. clear.
If we cannot let her see a very good future; or if we let her see the future, it is not good enough. Even if two people are together, it is easy to separate.
Therefore, some girls will want to understand these things at the beginning of the relationship. She has a clear standard in her heart. When she judges that you cannot meet it, she will no longer want to waste each other's time.
So you must know how to show your potential and strive to match her needs.
In addition, when chatting with her and talking about future plans, you should let her feel that you not only include her in your future, but also have ardent expectations for the two of you.
The specific plans range from getting married and having children to as small as daily necessities, rice, oil and salt. The most important thing is to get her involved. After all, in the eyes of girls, those who can plan for the future are the ones worth entrusting.