In your opinion, is online dating reliable? Recently when I browse the online dating section of Zhihu, I always see questions like this:
①: I used photos of my friends/sisters to deceive my online dating partners into saying they were me. , I’m about to get pregnant, what should I do?
②: My photo and height are different from my own, should I confess to my online dating partner?
③: I found out after I dated online. What should I do if the other person is ugly?
Every time I see these things, I feel a twinge in my heart. I think of the scene in "Tomb Robbers" where Wu Xie was forced to put on a mask and go to the village because his third uncle disappeared. Deceive the people in the hall.
When wearing a mask, a woman told him: Some masks cannot be taken off if they are worn for too long!
The above issue about deception in online dating is related to this plot. They have one thing in common - they don't dare to show their true colors.
Think about it the other way around:
Everyone has met someone who makes their heart beat more or less in reality. , when in face-to-face contact, you may not perform well due to nervousness and miss the opportunity to express yourself; you may also over-act and really fail to interest the other person and miss the opportunity to fall in love.
So one day, I met someone who I felt good about along the Internet cable. You chatted all night without looking at each other's skin. You felt that each other's souls were connected through words, and sparks gradually sparked.
Before confirming the relationship, you take photos of each other. You feel inferior to your current self, so you try your best to get a set of fresh and beautiful photos in your circle of friends or people who are professional in selling photos for online dating, and you feel anxious inside. Send it over and wait for the other party's response.
Finally, a little red dot appeared on her profile picture, and she even praised you. Your first deception ended successfully.
But telling one lie requires countless lies to cover it up.
Gradually, when you treat her, you consciously conceal your true self and give yourself some decent persona worthy of the photo to increase your attraction to her.
When you talk in depth, she has some fantasies and other needs for your photos.
You start to think and ask her: Do you love my soul or my skin?
She is very honest: My husband is so handsome, of course I love them both.
You are very angry, but you can’t get angry. After all, it was a photo you posted yourself.
You then made an appointment to meet on an important day, and you happily accepted it, feeling that you could finally live a life as a couple.
You want to improve yourself before meeting her, and even make various plans, but often there is no follow-up.
As the date approaches, you remain unchanged, and your appearance even deteriorates due to anxiety day and night.
At this time, you open Zhihu and ask a question: I cheated on my online dating partner, what should I do?
The onlookers urge you to confess, and you may be forgiven, but you don’t dare. In order to express his sincerity, he went to the other party's city alone.
There are only three outcomes in the end:
①: You go out to eat and drink and have a wonderful few days, When you come home, the other person becomes cold and you question the other person's feelings for you;
②: The other person posts pictures of you all over the place and even strips off your panties;
③: Block you directly, delete it and throw it at the train station.
There are countless examples of this in the online dating community, but very few of them can be resolved satisfactorily.
Back to the beginning of the story, you are across the screen, pretending to be a person far different from yourself in order to please the other person, and try your best to keep the other person hanging until the moment when you have to tear off the mask. , still feeling lucky.
But you don’t dare to take off your disguise, you only dare to say: I am sincere to you.
In the end, the person you like likes your mask and persona, but doesn’t like you - and you can’t never face yourself.
Thinking back:
Be honest from the beginning and let the other person know the real you.
If the other party responds to you, you have gained a real love, which is gratifying;
If the other party does not respond to you, it is also good for you to see clearly a person who does not like you. result.
In short, the longer the mask is worn, the harder it is to get a happy ending.
Of course, it does not rule out that you like the ending to end without any problem, which can avoid the pain of taking off the mask and only leave you regrets and regrets.
But many times, a relationship without an ending will become a thorn in a person's heart, pricking it from time to time. But there is nothing perfect in this life.
After all, "The Grandmaster" also said: Life would be so boring if there were no regrets.
It is a personal choice whether to suffer for a long time or to cut through the knot quickly.
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