Question:
I recently fell in love with a girl who is my colleague.
Although we are not in the same department, we are often in contact, and she will occasionally follow others to our office to chat with us.
I actually asked in a roundabout way and found out that she is single now. Is there any way you can help me get this girlfriend?
Answer:
Hello friend, I wonder if you have ever heard of a term called "husband and wife phase", which means that two people in a relationship have been together for a long time. , the more they look like each other.
The more famous celebrities are Sun Li and Deng Chao. Their facial features may not be that similar, but standing together, you will know that they are a couple.
Why do couples look like each other? In fact, there are many reasons, such as eating the same, living the same, or even having the same mood, etc.
There is a little trick you can use when pursuing the girl you like, called the "chameleon effect."
The “chameleon effect” refers to the fact that people often unconsciously copy the postures, quirks and facial expressions of others.
For example, if you are sitting and chatting with a person, if he shakes his legs, there is a 50% chance that you will shake his legs along with him.
Most of us, to some extent, will carry out some unconscious imitation.
Research by psychologists has shown that when you imitate a person unconsciously, it is easier to win his favor.
In other words, if you want the girl you like to fall in love with you quickly, you can try to increase the goodwill between you through imitation.
The easiest way is to imitate her speech. Of course, this imitation is not about parroting what she says and what you say, but about learning the expression habits and expressions of conversation.
For example, because now a lot of communication is through social software, this will provide you with great convenience to imitate the other party. Speech tone, intonation and mannerisms.
For example, when expressing the meaning of "Okay, okay", some people like to use "Okay", while others are accustomed to using "Okay" and "Okay", although the meaning is the same. But the feeling conveyed is different.
So at this time, you can pay more attention to the other party’s commonly used modal particles, mantras, or some unique language habits.
For example, you can imitate any punctuation mark you like to use at the end of a sentence. This will give the other person a very familiar feeling, and they will naturally feel closer and closer to you.
Secondly, imitate some of her behaviors.
Compared with imitating the other party’s language, behavioral imitation may require more details, because the other party will notice if you imitate too obviously. If you leave too deliberate an impression on him, you will lose points. of.
So you have to learn to observe in the early stage and observe her unique habitual movements.
For example, if she likes to touch her nose when talking, you can also touch her nose when talking;
If she is nervous, she will touch her ears, and you can also touch her ears to express this. own tension.
Even at a dinner party, you can observe her movement intentions. If she wants to get the cup, you stand up and get the cup together, creating an atmosphere where you are going to do the same thing.
Imitation in language and behavior is actually relatively easy to achieve, but what is more difficult is imitation in thought.
Everyone wants someone who understands them. For example, the girl you like is not so outgoing. When everyone says it would be better for her to be more cheerful and outgoing, if you feel that she doesn't like this, you can express other opinions.
You can say, "Actually, I don’t think you have to be cheerful and outgoing. Sometimes it’s good to be alone and have some space to do what you like. I I think it’s quite practical.”
This kind of expression actually cleverly avoids belittling another point of view, because it will give the other party a feeling of deliberateness and pandering.
If you only express the advantages of a point of view that is similar to hers, and do not deny different ideas, it will give the other party a more real feeling that you have great ideas and understand her.
Of course, when you say these words, your expression must be natural, so as to give the other party a greater surprise.
Of course, the purpose of imitation is not to let you cater to the other person, but more to make him open up his desire to communicate with you through imitation, and to enhance the opportunity for two people to understand each other.
I don’t know if it has some inspiration for you.
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