In daily life, a couple has a marital crisis. If they are unable to resolve it, it will cause unpredictable consequences or even divorce. There are many possible causes of marital crisis - prejudice, indifference, ego...
When resolving a marital crisis, what methods should couples take to deal with it? What follows? Let’s share 5 steps to deal with a marital crisis.
1. Analysis of the core of contradictions
Research in 2019 - Lopez, professor of psychology at the University of Auckland, New Zealand, and Colleagues (Lopes, Buss and Abed, 2019) found the core contradictions that trigger marital crises:
1) Insufficient attention
2) Jealousy and infidelity
< p> 3) Chores and responsibilities4) Sex
5) Control and dominance
6) Future plans and financial disagreements
References: Lopes, GS, Buss DM, Abed MG, Individual Differences and Disagreement in Romantic Relationships, Personality and Individual Differences, November,
Grant Hilary Brenner MD, FAPA, 30 Core Disagreements Couples Encounter, Psychology Today,
Posted Dec 08, 2019
When a marriage is in crisis, you must analyze the core of the contradictions that caused the marriage crisis so that you can implement the following One Step – How to Solve a Marriage Crisis.
2. Develop in-depth communication
The marital crisis is largely related to the unsatisfied [sense of need]. To satisfy each other’s sense of need, both husband and wife are needed. Develop in-depth communication.
How to carry out effective and in-depth communication? The five communication modes proposed by Satya may correspond to the "communication modes" of many couples in marriage:
1. The pleasing type (only Pay attention to the situation and the other party)
2. Blaming type (only pay attention to the situation and oneself)
3. Super-rational type (only pay attention to the situation)
4 . Interruption type (neither pays attention to it)
5. Consistent communication (pays attention to oneself, the other party, and the situation)
The couple is communicating with their significant otherWhen communicating, you must learn to listen, but also learn to express, respect each other, and be sincere. In-depth communication is actually very simple, but you must believe that you can do it!
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3. Solve the problem in time
After understanding the marital crisis, the next step is to deal with the marital crisis!
However, at this critical moment, many couples do not respond in time. Solve the problem instead of avoiding it.
For example, a man meets a wife who doesn’t do housework, and has never had a good relationship with her, but he never tries to make her do housework, but gets used to it.
When problems arise, they should be solved in time, otherwise it will only make the other party take it for granted. Of course, sometimes we also encounter problems that exceed our own capabilities, which returns to the essence of pain - anger at our own incompetence.
When solving problems, if you do not have the ability to solve problems, you should rely on yourself to improve your abilities!
4. Avoid the Cold War
When solving problems Afterwards, or after the problem is not completely resolved, the couple is prone to a period of discomfort - not knowing how to treat each other.
In order to avoid triggering another marital crisis, some couples even choose to get along in a "cold war" without disturbing each other.
This will weaken the relationship between the two people. During the Cold War, although the two of them seemed safe on the surface, in fact they were already in a mess inside. Cold war behavior directly affects children's thoughts and their healthy growth. Parents in the Cold War, due to their stalemate with each other, will also become indifferent to their children, making their children feel left out.
Therefore, we must avoid a cold war, but try to get closer to the other party's sincerity.
5. Release negative emotions
After the marital crisis is over, couples will still have negative emotions in their hearts. Possibilities, so remember to release the negative emotions within you.
Ways to release negative emotions:
1) Talk to each other between husband and wife; 2) Participate in housework together;
3) Pop Bang bang;
4) No longer think about the memories of the marriage crisis;
………
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