Many boys have always been single. What they lack is not the resources of the opposite sex or their own conditions, but they always feel that they are not good enough and dare not fall in love. Although they are usually confident and cheerful people, they just don’t know when they meet a girl they like. , become inferior and cowardly, what is the reason?
Look at the following reasons, you may understand:
1: Overestimating the value of the other party
There is a saying that I don’t know if you have heard of it. Friendship is generous and generous. is love.
This is because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You think the other person is good at everything, and you begin to fear that you will not be good enough for the other person.
In this kind of thinking, you will feel that the other person is good at everything and you are not good at anything.
It can also be said that your likes add a soft light filter to them, but you also want to get close to them, talk to them, and understand them. Under this contradictory thought, you They will lower their stature and try to please the other party as a weakling.
Second: Lack of corresponding charm, ability, value
Unlike the former, which raises the other person’s inferiority complex, This point is that you really don't have enough ability to match the opponent.
There are four main aspects of mutual attraction between men and women:
The first is appearance. Handsome boys and beautiful women are naturally more likely to be favored by others.
The second is economy, such as cars. , house, money
The third is personal ability, such as work ability, emotional intelligence, and attitude towards others
The fourth is personality. People who are gentle and considerate will naturally be more likable.
Then if you don’t have a good-looking skin, a bold enough financial ability, or an interesting soul, it will naturally be easy for you to feel inferior in front of the opposite sex you like and feel that you are not good enough.
Three: I have had too few contacts with the opposite sex and lack certain social skills
I believe in the term "maternal and fetal singleness" Many people have heard it, if you have few opportunities to contact the opposite sex and are relatively introverted.
Then it is normal for you to feel inferior in front of the opposite sex. It's like for something unknown, people's first reaction is usually fear rather than curiosity.
Of course, the relationship between men and women will definitely not be as serious as exploring unknown things.
But if you can’t capture the other person’s emotions when you’re with the opposite sex, and you don’t know how to continue the topic, and you can neither take the initiative nor have the right to choose, you can only always feel inferior. Went down.
Four: Trying will bring about change
If you want to change the situation of not being confident enough in love, you must first learn to face the value of the other person and tell yourself , he is not as perfect as you think, or you can objectively evaluate your self-worth and find out what makes you valuable. For example, if you have a good personality, strong work ability, or even if you are more popular than the other person, you can find it. Your own strengths will allow you to view the relationship between you more rationally.
Of course, if the other person's ability and value are indeed much higher than yours, then you can regard the other person as your goal. , improve your personal quality, cultivate your abilities in all aspects, and actively chase after a partner who is better than yourself, which is far more valuable than passive inferiority.
If your social circle is too narrow, you will have the problem. You can go out more, or use your circle of friends. If you have the opportunity, you can attend more friends' gatherings.
The key is to cultivate your social skills. After all, people are still social animals. If you are not strong enough, just think about being alone.
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