With the change of concepts, sibling love is now a normal relationship, and more and more sibling relationships are appearing in our field of vision. However, these sibling relationships can be stable for a long time. Very few make it to the end, why?
1. The passion fades too early h2>
First of all, I would like to interpret it from the perspective of "Love Triangle Theory". Psychologist Sternberg mentioned that perfect love should have passion, intimacy and commitment. Let’s take 10 years as a span for the time being:
Generally speaking, a 20-year-old you will be attracted to a 20-year-old woman. And I think that as long as a 30-year-old woman takes good care of herself and looks similar to a 20-year-old woman, it doesn't seem to be impossible;
When you are 30 years old, you will think that a 20-year-old woman is good in everything, but a bit naive . It seems that only a 30-year-old woman understands you best because you are similar in age. As for a 40-year-old woman, you have nothing else but to call her sister after seeing her;
When you are 40 years old...
There is a saying: "Women are the most beautiful." Huaxin, a 20-year-old woman likes you at 20 years old, and a 30-year-old woman likes you at 30 years old... But men are very specific, and men always like 20-year-old women. "This is not unreasonable.
In a love relationship where the woman is older than the man, passion, intimacy, and commitment are the first to fade away.
Hong Kong Zhen, it doesn’t matter how much older you think she is now, but if it’s really a big difference, I’m not sure you’ll be able to stand upright when you see her in middle age.
2. Control, anxiety and existence
A 20-year-old woman teaches a 20-year-old man how to do things, and the man laughs In other words, if a 30-year-old woman gives a 20-year-old man “points and guidance”, no man dares to disobey her. Is the age gap a problem? What I'm most afraid of is that if something happens, she will use her experience to pressure you.
You must know that your partner is older than you and has walked more bridges than you have walked. In order to avoid you taking "the detour she thinks", it is easy to be stronger in the relationship, and then Trigger control issues and let you live according to her expectations. It makes you miserable without saying anything, and when the day comes that you can't bear it anymore, your relationship will easily collapse.
Secondly, it is a good thing for lovers to support each other, but your girlfriend wants you to listen to her in everything, which really hurts a man's self-esteem and makes anxiety a constant presence. You always worry that you are not good enough for your partner, and you spend your whole life chasing after her, only to find that the confident self you once had has long since disappeared. Men with low self-confidence often suffer the double blow of career failure and love failure.
Third, in a healthy relationship, both men and women need a sense of presence. But with rich experience,When people with strong personalities are together, the two people will be in a controlled-controlled relationship mode for a long time. If one party's "existential needs" are not met, it is easy to turn his attention to the outside world and engage in wrong behaviors such as cheating and cheating.
In fact, the age gap itself is not a problem, but behind the age gap, it is often accompanied by problems of desire for control, anxiety and sense of existence. These problems can easily lead to crises in our relationships.
3. Resistance from the environment and public opinion
Every relationship should have a result, and when it comes to marriage, When it comes to getting married, parents still have to pass the test. It is difficult for a man to get support from his family when he falls in love with a woman who is much older than him. Similarly, the parents of the other party may not accept that their future son-in-law is nearly ten years younger than his daughter.
Public opinion is even more of a sharp sword. Men usually joke about finding a "rich woman" if they don't want to work hard, but look, who would really show off because he has found a woman who is older (or has better material conditions) than him?
< p> Under the mainstream public opinion environment, it is not considered favorable for a man to fall in love or get married with a woman who is older than him. It is not as simple as "holding three gold bricks".
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